cinta ‘doang’ ga cukup!!
hmmm,,
akhir2 ini saya banyak menerima ‘undangan’..yang lantas membuat saya sedikit berpikir tentang hal ‘itu’..
benarkah untuk menjalankan sebuah hubungan itu cukup hanya berlandaskan ‘cinta’ doang??
jujur, menurut saya ga..
ada yang lebih dari sekedar cinta yang kita butuhkan untuk membentuk sebuah hubungan,,
here they are..
artikel dari sebuah milis,,
dan saya setuju banget!!
FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner,
no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to
50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their
approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married,
they’ll say: "We’re in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake
people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be
based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct",
there’s a profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the
result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right,
then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can’t build
a
lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious
about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married
for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do
you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog
together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.
You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage
work, you need to know what you want out of life!
Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts
with this person?
This question goes to the core of the
quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The
basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I
won’t get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and
feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone
with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be
honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally
safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can
you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth
on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A
teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always
striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your
significant other: What do
they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually
a
materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character
refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal
comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know
that before walking down the aisle.
*bersambung*
